Musings on Change in Me

Friends, I've been thinking about change recently.  And specifically, change in me.

I have always struggled with seeing change in myself.  I often see things in myself that I do not like.  I am proud, selfish, impatient... I could write a very extensive list of my shortcomings!

When I partner with God to overcome these negative characteristics and let him change me, I always get super impatient with why it seems to take so long to actually see change.  

As one friend said - when I look back over years of my life, I can see how far I have come. I can see that I have grown in different areas over time.  But in the day to day life, I struggle to see change.  In fact, it may seem like you are actually going backwards sometimes when you compare one day to the next!

I really understood what she meant.  I get so impatient with my growth (or rather, my perceived lack of growth).  I would like to be perfect, NOW!

My bible reading this morning included Isaiah 5:18-19.

Woe to those who draw sin along with cords of deceit,
and wickedness as with cart ropes,
to those who say, “Let God hurry;
let him hasten his work
so we may see it.
The plan of the Holy One of Israel—
let it approach, let it come into view,
so we may know it.”

Oof. 

That second part... "to those who say, Let God hurry; let him hasten his work so we may see it."  My goodness, how I'm inclined to do that.  I am so impatient with seeing change in my life.  I want to be perfect now.

But the question is, why do I want to be perfect now?  Is it because I want people to think I'm a better Christian?  Is it because I want to glorify God more with my life?  I must examine my motives. 

If my motives really are to please and glorify God, isn't he most glorified when I trust Him to change me on his time frame?  Maybe He is teaching me slowly so that the finished product is something truly glorifying to Him. 

Lord, change me. Make me like your Son. May I grow throughout my life, as you help me make good choices and see the world through your lens. And Lord, help me to trust in your timing and surrender the rate of growth completely to you. May I live to glorify you and you alone. This is the cry of my heart.